January 22, 2009

I'm the Chick Carrying the Dude

So. I'm having a boy. Which means, right now, I am carrying a little tiny baby of the opposite gender. This is seeming a bit weird to this logical feminist. Yes, I know, millions upon millions of women have carried men, or there wouldn't be any, but it just seems odd.

The idea of having a boy briefly entered my mind, but I then scared it away with image upon positive image of having a girl. In Mr. Cool's testosterone filled family, I thought a little girl power would do us all good. Now, I have to reconcile myself to the (not terrible) idea of having a boy.

I must say I feel blessed to live in a time where I can rejoice equally in having a boy or a girl. Anne Boleyn had a quite a girl, Elizabeth I, but never enjoyed having a daughter, so desperate was she to have a son. Sons for century upon century have been the crowning glory of a family, fulfilling the deep and abiding need to have an heir. So, should all go as planned, I shall provide Mr. Cool with an heir. Mission accomplished, for most women of the past.

I'm not giving up my dream of having a girl, though. As much as I will love and cherish Master Cool, I delight in knowing that I have, in the time and place I live in, the opportunity to love and cherish a daughter as well. In the past, most daughters were shunted aside, unmentioned, their worth contained in their value on the marriage market. Today, sadly enough, many countries still value having a son over a daughter. In fact, from most people I speak with, this is a bit true here in the "modern" U.S. as well. "Oh, boys are so easy!" I hear every time I talk to older mothers, "Girls are so much drama, and so much more expensive, and you have to worry about them so much more as teenagers . . ."

Even today, a boy is viewed as better by so many people. This hits the crux, I think, of both my feminism and my belief. The founding fathers stated that "all men are created equal," and Genesis doesn't even name Adam and Eve's daughters, but I have to believe, in order to live, that as a woman I too have been created equal, that in the eyes of God I am equally loved. The weight of women throughout time has been to view themselves as less than a man. I don't believe that--I can't believe that and have a happy and fulfilling life as a woman.

So, in the past, and around the world, I have hit the jackpot. I am having a son. I cannot wait to begin teaching him the value of women, so that someday, when he has daughters of his own, he will value them as much as he will be valued.

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