34 Weeks, 2 Days

Oh, wait. This isn't me. Sorry, Mr. Cool, but turnabout is fair play. You'll note Mr. Cool is barely showing, although he has joined me in shorter hair.
Pregnancy play clothes--these are my favorite jeans. I am a fan of the "secret fit belly," which is a pantyhose-like panel that pulls all the way up over the bump. For the first time, I don't have a gap in my jeans. I think this is a technology that could be applied to non-maternity clothing. When I look at myself in the mirror, I don't feel like I look this ginormous. I know in reality, I'm not huge. I've been excellent with my weight gain. It's just a tricky area for a chubby person who has always worked to hide weight to flaunt it.
Pregnancy work clothes--I made it to 4 1/2 months before I had to start wearing maternity clothes, which was awesome. Since then, I've made it through the school year with two pairs of slacks and twelve tops. Surprisingly, none of my students have commented on my small wardrobe. I like to think they are distracted by increasing girth. Mama Cool has sewed me three tops, but I'll save that fashion show for later!

So, there you are, my few fans, pregnant Amanda pictures. I hope you enjoyed.

New Things Experienced

Until I became pregnant, I had never:

• Chewed Tums: Heartburn had never been a problem for me. I think I'd maybe suffered from it three times prior to the pregnancy. (Hereafter, referred to as PG--parental guidance is needed.) Now, I find myself gnawing a couple Tums every night. I prefer wintergreen, and while I currently have generic, there is something to be said for the name brand. Old Wives' Tales hold that the more heartburn you have, the more hair your baby will have on its head. I'm hoping for loads of curly hair. I want my own little hobbit.
• Had Chubby Toes: Oh, plenty of the rest of me has been chubby, but never my toes. I loved my slender toes, and always showed them off with my own careful pedicures. Now, although I haven't had much swelling, my toes look chubby to me. I've still got them polished, but I miss my slim footsies.
• Stayed Away from Diet Coke: I am currently looking at 34 weeks without even a sip of a Diet Coke. If you know me, you know I have a deep and abiding love (addiction?) to Diet Coke, and let's be honest, Diet Dr. Pepper. I have kept myself clean for the wee one, partially because of the caffeine, and partially because of the aspartame. I am looking at another year, at least. I think longingly of that first sip. I am planning to stockpile the new Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper to try as soon as I've weaned him. You better like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, kid.
• Not Greeted Kids at the Door: In the past, I have been notorious in my classrooms for standing outside my door during every passing period to greet kids and keep an eye on the halls. Now, I spend every passing period walking down the hall to the bathroom. EVERY passing period. I am currently working on my new design for schools where every classroom has a bathroom. I know there would be issues, but benefits too. At least for PG teachers.
• Had So Much TMI: PG is all about having too much information you're dying to share. And I won't share it here, because I have other forums for that, but suddenly so much of your life is up for grabs. So much of your body, in fact. Things you rarely tell your mom or husband suddenly become important things to share.
• Loved Someone Who Kicked Me So Much: It's time for the cheesy part of the blog! I get seriously kicked. I also get stretched, when Master Cool seemingly stretches both his little arms and little legs to his full height and presses against his uterine prison. That's a bit uncomfortable. It's weird to get internally abused while driving, or teaching, or watching TV, and love it. If he's quiet, I start to panic.
• Telepathically Communicated: This ties in with the one above. If he's not moving much, I will make myself completely still, and think, very hard, "Kick me, [Name]. Kick mama right now." And you know what? Nine times out of ten, he does. Seriously, 90%. Just now, while typing. I realized I hadn't felt him for a while. I kythed with him a bit, and he moved. We are in sync.

Holding Pattern

I do have a longer post on pregnancy--complete with photos!--in the works, but I'm taking a quick break from that for this viral video. This is a jump rope group, performing at the Naval Academy, and while it's long, it will make you feel intensely bad about your cardio fitness. Also, it made me teary. I have no idea why.

ETA: My amazon.com blog links have also led me to this great site--although, if you are my parent, rest assured I'm not nodding and jotting these down.

Five Weeks--Can I make it?

I haven't really commented on this, so I thought I might. Especially after this horrendous day. In five weeks, I will semi-retire from my career as a freshman English teacher, to take on the career of a mom. Only five more weeks of grading, creating lessons, writing on white boards, and repeating myself endlessly. I plan to return, when my child(ren) has(have) reached an appropriate school-going age. I wonder what sort of schools I will return to, though. And I wonder if I can balance motherhood with the sort of days this job can dish out.

Today has been one of the longest--I was kicked out of my classroom for the entire day due to ACT testing, leading me to wander the halls with my overhead cart loaded down with books, papers, and materials for the day. I dealt with a class of supposed Honors students that had not done their required reading and preferred to talk through the discussion. I tried to explain that chastity was not equal to homosexuality while teaching Greek myths. Right now, I'm covering a class for the baseball coach, meaning I have not been in my classroom all day, and I have had to deal with students all day long. I had a twenty minute break for lunch, but other than that, I have been around high school students.

Sigh. I think, sometimes, that I still love this job, and that I will be eager to come back after a few years of monosyllabic, non-literary conversation. Sometimes, though, that's all I have at my job.

Daddy Boot Camp: Hooh – Uh!

If you’re like me, and thankfully few of you are, the words “daddy boot camp” conjures up images of tiny prodigy wearing camouflage onesies and stealth booties, while their rough and youthful fathers run around throwing live diaper grenades and singing “I don’t know what you’ve been told…but this smelly diaper is twenty-seven hours old…sound off, one-two, sound off, one-two-three-four…” (it sounds better if you sing it in your head five or twenty-five times.)

Sadly, daddy boot camp was more a support group discussion about how your life will change for the better, how you can support your partner, and the realities of changing diapers, SIDS, Shaken Baby Syndrome, Post Partum Depression, traveling with babies, sleep deprivation, and putting your guns, knives, deadly chemicals, and vials of anthrax off the floor and out reach. Please don’t get me wrong, these are great and helpful things, but I was looking for more.

(An aside here about the word “partner” – in these classes this word it thrown about with reckless abandon. At first I tried to ignore it, but eventually I recognized it for what it was – not some left-wing conspiracy for alternative family planning – but an economy of words: saying partner is way faster, easier, and more accurate than saying “husband / wife / girlfriend / boyfriend / life partner” every time you talk about your better half.)

Again, all good things (refer to above) – but I would have liked and benefited from the following:

Diaper Drills: actually showing me how to change a diaper and see who could do it the fastest.
Infant CPR and First Aid: I will probably do something wrong with my baby, and I would like to know how to fix it.
Baby Budget: what will this baby actually cost? Medical bills, monthly expenses, how much should a diaper actually cost. Scary but practical.
Sex: Don’t get used to it, it’s going to be a while…

Many of you are parents and have an even better idea of what should be, or should have been, included in parenting classes for expectant dads. Please feel free to add a subject and brief description of knowledge to be found.

British Emotion

Thanks to Youtube, the British found another way to make a hormonal woman cry! (And more proof that Idol sucks compared to the British talent shows.)

Charlton Heston & Easter

When I was young, Mama Cool and I would always stay up to watch the classic Ten Commandments during its Easter Eve showing. We always questioned as to why it was a pre-Easter movie, although one could also argue that it is shown during Passover, which would make more sense. Regardless, we always stayed up to watch Charlton view the burning bush and pronounce his lines in serious tones, opposed by Yul Brynner and his fabulous calves. I managed to convince Mr. Cool to watch a bit yesterday, and told him of my favorite part--the continued involvement of Moses's adoptive mother. In the film, his Egyptian princess mother continues to seek him out, even after he returns to set his people free. I appreciate that concept--I imagine, that if she were still alive when he returned, she would indeed find him and follow him. Her desire and passion for a son were great enough to adopt and raise him, that she would not forsake him even with his changed mission.

Anyway, today, while I am waiting for my family to arrive, I am watching the more appropriate Charlton Heston Easter film, Ben-Hur. As a youngster, I loved to read the abridged copy of Lew Wallace's classic that my grandparents had in their basement. I loved the story of Judah Ben-Hur and his survival through the Roman galleys, his saving of the Roman Quintus, his encounters with Arabic horse-racing, and the thrilling chariot race. Jesus is a side player in this drama, but he is the ultimate savior. Revenge cannot hold up as a motive when faced with the selfless redeemer.

So, on this Easter, I am confronted with massive epics and quiet gestures of faith. He is risen indeed.

Indeed from dictionary.com adv.

1. Without a doubt; certainly: very cold indeed; was indeed grateful.
2. In fact; in reality: felt sure I'd win, and indeed I did.

interj. Used to express surprise, skepticism, or irony.

[Middle English in dede, in fact : in, in; see in¹ + dede, deed, fact; see deed.]

Uh-Oh

F Minus April 5, 2009

Drinking the Swedish Lingonberry Koolade

Well, we've made it back safe and sound. Outside of the non-stop driving, the Cools enjoyed the wonderful weather and access to a pool. I won't bore you too much with how awesome my week was, since in comparrison to your week, it would make you feel small and insignificantly sad. But I will say this: quality time on the links, relaxing time in the hot tub, fabulous food, and even some world cup qualifying european football.

For the visual learners, here's the pool...

Our trusty stead, Neville...

golf...

The trip's highlight...

Swedish design, American Capitalism - so nice we shopped twice. We dropped a grip of dough at this "assemble it yourself" icon of domestic architechture - and loved every minute. Good times, good breakfast, and lots of great stuff for little Cool's nursury.

All in all, a good trip. We didn't do everything we wanted to, but we didn't do anything we didn't like. The hardest wasn't leaving to return to work, the hardest part was dealing with the cold front the swept through on the 2nd day, 74 degrees and breezy, I don't know if I could handle that again...